dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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