if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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