I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
