Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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