Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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