I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Randomize
