I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
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