Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
