She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
