I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
she pinky promised me she was 18
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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