dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
