do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
