ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
These tits shall not be calmed
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
