If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
