WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
