i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
