Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
