my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
