don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
