he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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