i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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