i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
