She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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