moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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