Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
home. puking in laundry basket.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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