Got a toothbrush?
Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
