It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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