She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
