Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Jerry, you need to find god
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
