i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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