i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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