she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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