Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
