Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize