Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I touched a dick in church today
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
