im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
