Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Randomize
