I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Randomize
