I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
