he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Everything about him screamed your future.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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