i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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