Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
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