i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
i will never coherently bang her
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
