I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Randomize
