What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
