So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
