I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
