no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
