I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
