I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
