My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
