I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
