I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
