hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
