Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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