dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
